So I took a little bit of a blog hiatus. It has almost been two years since my last post… two years! For someone that tends to find serenity in writing, that’s a very long hiatus. I’m not sure what made me stop. Funny thing is, that I have found myself in a but of a deja vu state recently – which has turned me back to my writing. Funny how that works out.
Two years… a lot has happened. I’ve grown up a lot. I’ve experienced things that have changed my views, broke my heart, made me the happiest camper, and made me question my sole purpose. That’s the funny thing about getting older.. things you’ve been told your whole life from adults start to make sense.
Currently I am a little lost in my life – not in a depressing way, just in a milestone kind of way ha. Not sure where I want to be or what I want to do. What I want out of my life. Some may think it’s a little late for these thoughts, but I’d say its a great time. I’ve had fun and made questionable decisions throughout my twenties, and I guess that big 3-0 that is around the corner could make anyone sit back and evaluate their life.
‘Living’ creates certain situations for you and brings people into your life for a reason – and it also takes them out. I am still trying to figure out that one.. especially when ‘ghosts from Christmases past” float in lol. I’m an impatient person by nature. I hate waiting on stuff in the mail, let alone waiting for that life lesson or message to make sense. I often try to figure the life lesson I am suppose to be learning while living it at the same time. Probably not ideal.. but I am a big believer on everything in life happens for a reason. Because it does. I think that there is something magical about how people’s lives turn out. How everything eventually falls into place. The trick is, you just have to let it. That’s hard. Especially when you think that you are the ultimate person to dictate how your own life turns out, when you are actually not.. that’s up to the big man. I can’t help but wonder – as I’m having some recent ‘deja vu’ moments – what the purpose is, what didn’t I learn the first time – or better yet what do I need to learn the second time going around?
Despite all of my uneasiness about where I am going in my life, I am proud of the person I have become the past two years. I’ve learned to not settle. I’ve learned to stand up for myself in all areas of my life. I’ve learned that I deserve the best. I’ve became a little bit wiser. I’ve walked out of situations that I knew were toxic. I’ve traveled, lived, soul-searched, dreamed, opened my eyes and even closed them at times. I’ve listened to my heart over my head and sometimes vise versa.
I’ll continue to make mistakes, because that’s how you learn. I’m just glad that I’ve become someone THAT learns from them. Bring on the next chapter. I’m ready.
There is a reason why your windshield is bigger than your mirror… Where you’re headed is much more important than what you’ve left behind.