Everyone’s got one, whether they like to admit it or not. It’s a list of not expectations, but suggested guidelines for things such as…dates, the opposite sex, etc. It’s like a figment of your imagination that you created based on blissful song lyrics and characters in movies. More often than none, things don’t quite go your way. Why do we do this to ourselves? Sure people say don’t judge a book by it’s cover and yadda yadda, but despite the yield sign on the moral advice we so often get – none of us follow it. Instead we continue to stir the boat right in the iceberg.
So you find yourself doing it. no matter what you all say, the first thing you notice is looks. then follows the little things that pull you in more: their smile, their laugh, the way they do this little thing with their hair or nose.
Then comes how they carry themselves. Are they walking tall and confident? do they light up a room? are they the class clown type?
Then the other things follow – the way he makes me laugh, we always have deep conversations, good cuddler, up for anything no matter how crazy, how they are with kids, etc.
All of these things are on the score card that you have mentally burned in your mind so when someone comes along one day and grabs your attention, you start tallying up the points. Some things are negotiable, but then there are the deal breakers -no ambition, some crazy habit or obsession, how they treat people etc.
It’s funny how we go through our lives with our customized process of elimination. We do it with everything too. I recently had this discussion with someone about dates, and the same rules apply. Everyone has their idea of a perfect date. If you are fortunate enough to ever get yours without dropping major hints, you become so much more optimistic about the duration of the dating time table. But the moment that something happens before during or after that first date…all that optimism is deflated. You can always bounce back winning major brownie points with little jesters or surprising moves.
I have this “mold” of my perfect guy, as does everyone else. People will be like, “Ohh I don’t have a type, it’s just whoever I have the best chemistry with…” Yeah Right. chances are, you sizing up each person to see if they come close to the mold of your night and shining armor.
It’s kind of like playing Bingo. you have this scorecard and numbers are thrown at you left and right…some match, some don’t. Sometimes you have this nearly glorious scorecard that’s lacking something small – just one piece. but the scorecard is a bust without it. Then there are times when your hitting all the right numbers, but then it goes downhill fast. Sometimes your numbers never get called and you wanna chunk everything out and quit. but then there is that one glorious moment – which doesn’t happen often that everything’s lined up right and your shouting Bingo! like a old lady who plays every week at the local clubhouse with all the right lucky charms and pins and nic-nacs to bring good Bingo ju-ju. That’s the moment we all look forward to, yet rarely happens at all, no matter how many stops you pull or lucky rituals you do. You may or may not win Bingo again, but you compare everything after it to that one glorious winning Bingo. Of course the same card with the same line up and same little numbers may never come along again, but there will be others down the road with there own special score cards.
It’s interesting to listen to others sort their score cards out with you, or to really look at your own. Maybe that’s why there are so many online dating things these days – people got crafty and started putting their score boards in databases waiting for the Bingo to come to them. Who knows…
Song of the Day:
Random iTunes selection……kinda perfect.
Adam Sandler – I Wanna Grow Old With You.